Do you ever wonder what you will look like when you are eighty, ninety, or even a hundred?
I just don’t. I have never stared into the mirror and tried to see the woman in my future. I am a live-one-day-at-a-time kind of girl. Since I turned fifty, I have started each day with a goal to make it the best it can be and live each minute to its fullest…that is where I discover my definition of joy. No stinging regrets from the past and no fears of the future…
Until recently, when my doctor forced me to walk down that road. I have the potential of going from a 5’8” active woman to a small, curved over, slow, little lady. I now have osteoporosis in my spine. Bummer. A new medication had entered my life, and the battle with new fears. Confession: I allowed the news to get to me for about twenty four hours, so the Joy Boutique read CLOSED.
This was the doctor’s appointment where I envisioned new reads in the tests. I had changed eating habits. I have been working out with a trainer since July….yes, you read that right….at sixty, and I started to work out with a group of friends doing weight training twice a week. Lately, the sessions have been grueling. I told my husband one morning last week that I did not know if I could continue…I had met my match…and it was called a burpee. No, it is not a cute little pillow for a new mommy. It is a torture device from hell. Fall to a squat, kick out your legs, and perform a push up, kick your legs back in, jump to your feet and jump up in the air. So far, I have done zero and if these attempts end up on YouTube, someone is going to pay!
But, I know myself so well. If I had received only good news at this doctor’s appointment, I might have backed off of the routine. So, though I am not rejoicing in the news…I have returned to the land of dogged determination…no defeats.
(Cue: Rocky Music Please) Can you see me running the steps in Philadelphia? One of the ladies in my group has osteoporosis all over…hips included. So far, I do not…mine is reserved currently to my spine. I need these other women and my trainer for accountability. He will not allow us mediocrity…we keep pushing forward. Last week we pulled up 120 pounds in a deadlift!! But, it is never easy and it is not meant to be.
I have shrunk one half inch…but there will be no shrinking back. Twice a week, I will see that little curved woman in my mirror and try to push her farther and farther into the future.
What’s your greatest struggle at this moment, and how are you coping?
Pamela Lutrell
Pamela Lutrell began her blog, over50feeling40, July 2010 with a desire to encourage women over 50 to walk in strength, confidence and joy. Of course, head turning style makes each day fun!
Follow Me:
Jodi
Saturday 23rd of November 2013
Hi ya Pam.. wow, what a life changer and you are so inspiring how you have gotten into action and share the results!!
My biggest challenge is just loving and accepting the body I have. I am an athlete and am alot taller and bigger than many girls in my sport. Most of the top girls have bodies like 14 yr old boys-- flat chest, no hips or curves. Nothing but lean muscle. While I am strong and compete in ironman triathlons and do quite well at it I am still on the train of wishing I was leaner, fitter, stronger, not so curvy.. etc etc.. its gotten better over the years but I am being honest in admitting that its still like a tiger has ahold of me in that area!! Jodi
Karena
Tuesday 19th of November 2013
Pam, I understand as I have had some serious health problems over the past 3 years. I thank God for my blog friends and my family. There is so much I am grateful for in my life. Sometimes I see myself much younger when I could do anything in the world, including rock climbing and rappelling! (did I tell you that?) This next chapter, though, is about something deeper and I believe more meaningful!
xoxo Karena The Arts by Karena
Elaine @ Following Augustine
Tuesday 19th of November 2013
Oh , Pam! I so fully understand new diagnoses, new medications, new fears and pity parties these days but like you, I'm doing my best to remain positive and enjoy each day as it comes. We cannot always choose our circumstances but we can choose to respond to them with fear and trembling or we can respond the way you have with faith and determination. Thank you for the reminder!
Cornelia
Tuesday 19th of November 2013
My greatest struggle is exactly the one you mentioned: backsliding into taking it easy when all is (or seems to be) well. Why or why do we need to whacked over the head time and again? I will be 58 in a few days and do not really mind getting older, since the only way to avoid that is to die young. But being well as we age can be determined by the way we live, as you pointed out. I can no longer do the heavy lifting like you due to another (old age) ailment, but will continue to many reps of the lighter weights as recommended by my physician. The other upside of coming to grips that osteoporosis is real: I can no longer slouch in a chair, ever! Keep us motivated, Pam.
Lisha Fink
Tuesday 19th of November 2013
I'm proud of you for moving on after only a day at the Pity Party. Usually I linger there for a while before I pull my big girl panties up and move on. Thanks for the inspiration this morning. I'd like to keep my curves where they already are, instead of finding new ones in places I didn't expect to see them.