Valentine’s Day – The Most Important Person in Your Life? You.

Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
- Veronica A. Shoffstall

Let’s be real. Valentine’s Day is a Hallmark holiday that has gone out of control.  I’m wiling to be you that at least 50% of the men who buy for their partners wait until the last minute then rush to the closest store and buy a bunch of generic red roses.

I’d much rather have signs of affection scattered throughout the year—not just dried up old rose petals to vacuum up on Feb. 17^th. Call me jaded. Call me single.

Even when I was married the notion of Valentine’s Day felt like a set-up. I recall the meltdown one year when my husband didn’t even remember to say anything. It felt like he didn’t love me—I had by then thoroughly adopted the commercial idea of romance and flowers and diamonds (never got those) and ever-lasting love.

If your relationship is hanging by a thread, all the flowers in the world aren’t going to fix things. Chocolates or romantic dinners won’t do it. There’s nothing worse than faking your way through a restaurant meal if you can’t even figure out why you’re still with the person across the table from you.

And, if you’re single? Tsk tsk, what went wrong? It’s the question my mother ponders when she looks at me. “Why can’t she get a man?” And, keep him.

This little rant is to assure you that you’re not the only one feeling this way—if you’re one of us. The lonely, the divorcee, the ‘spinster’, the widow.

I admit to being a little touchy about Valentine’s Day.

We should celebrate love. We should make the time to communicate our feeling and show our love in a myriad of ways. And, whether married, coupled or single, self-love is crucial to living a good life. Self-love and respect for ourselves at any stage of life is vital to living a fulfilling life.. Self-acceptance allows for the possibility to find joy in the world—as we define it.

As you define it.

We aren’t schooled in self-love; actually many women are raised to think that putting others’ needs first is more important.

To be successful in life—work, family, sex and community –requires us to love and care for ourselves. That means paying attention to our emotions, our relationships with friends and family as well as our physical, spiritual and sexual health. It means occasionally saying No to someone, so that you can honor yourself.

Self-love means allowing yourself to experience pleasure in all aspects in life.

Easy to say; hard to embrace. But it’s important to respect and love oneself. So this week while you’re going about your day, think about what you might do as a treat just for you. Make a list, hang it on your mirror or in your journal—and take time each week to show yourself some love. Love is not relegated to one day a year.

Find the love you seek, by first finding the love within yourself. Learn to rest in that place within you that is your true home.- Sri Sri Ravi Shankar