Understanding the Importance of Sexual Health at Midlife

A note from Walker Thornton: I’m so pleased to be the new Women’s Sexual Health columnist for Midlife Boulevard. I started thinking and writing about sex as I reentered the dating world in my early 50s. What I began to realize is that many midlife women have questions about sex and their bodies. I often hear from women who aren’t having sex or who want to figure out how to make their sexual response better. It’s such a healthy place to be—understanding the importance of our sexuality and its overall impact on our lives. I love being a resource for women (and occasionally men) and a sex educator. I’m excited about bringing that work here to Midlife Boulevard.

 Let’s talk about how we define sexual health.

I think sexual health is more than talking about mammograms or looking at the challenges of menopause and aging. I see sexual health as encompassing relevant health news, resources, education, personal practices and more. I hope to provide information that will help you feel better in your body, enjoy better sex, and understand the benefits of living a sexy life-both in and out of the bed. I’ll do occasional Q&A articles so if you want me to address a particular topic (anonymously), you can email me at walker@walkerthornton.com.

I believe, as do many practitioners and sex educators, that it is important for us to develop, continue, or improve a sexual practice, or routine, as we age.

We know that aging brings aches and pains, a few wrinkles, and a lessening of physical strength. We see it in the lines on our faces and the shifting of body parts. We rush to the gym, we reach for the face potions, and yet we ignore our ‘lady parts’. We take medications to improve our health and well-being but we don’t tune in to how our genitals are doing. If tummies need toning and our muscles need to be exercised what about our vaginas?

Vaginal health is important for a number of reasons. Bladder functioning is connected to the strength of our pelvic wall.  Kegel exercises are useful for exercising those muscles, and vaginal stimulation can help as well. And, it’s more fun.  Arousal increases blood flow which helps keep vaginal tissue from drying out and becoming thinner. Sexual activity, with a partner or through self-pleasuring, helps to reduce the chances of vaginal tearing, discomfort and vaginal atrophy.

Sex provides us with a surge of feel-good hormones, a sense of satisfaction, and is thought to be one of the key ingredients to a happy marriage.  Orgasms cause our bodies to release oxytocin, the hormone that produces feelings of pleasure.  It’s pretty simple. When we have sex it makes us feel good.

At a time when a woman’s sexuality is often demeaned or assumed to be nonexistent at a certain age, it’s important to look at the health benefits of an active sex life, solo or partnered. And at the same time, acknowledge that some women are uncomfortable talking about their bodies and their sexuality. Dysfunctional relationships, sexual trauma, illness, loss of desire and other reasons can lead women to stop considering sex a vital part of their lives.

Having sex on a regular basis, however you choose to define that, has physical and mental benefits. Isn’t that what we all strive for in our lives—to feel good, tap into our creative energy and take care of ourselves?

Thoughts? Comments?