Skip to Content

Is Poise Old Fashioned or Cutting Edge?

Is Poise Old-Fashioned or Cutting Edge VPlease note that some links are affiliate links. If you click through and make a purchase, we receive a small percentage that helps keep us in business.

I wasn’t raised around women who possessed great poise, and in all fairness, they were not raised by women who understood the concept. I believed for a long time women of grace and strength were born into it and were wealthy, but about twelve years ago the lights came on. This was when I began to understand I could practice and learn poise, and I started to develop small, but meaningful changes in my life.

Now I have discovered the ultimate textbook and I am devouring it… Polish Your Poise with Madame Chic by Jennifer L. Scott. While I am still reading, I just had to begin sharing with you some of the nuggets within. This is part of a series by Scott about her Parisian mentor, she calls Madame Chic, and all the wisdom gleaned by the young protégé. Scott is also a blogger at the Daily Connoisseur.

“Every day, whether at home or in the outside world, she (Madame Chic) presented herself beautifully, with flattering clothes, age appropriate makeup, and excellent grooming. She had great posture which seemed to come naturally to her. She was well spoken and highly intelligent… Madame Chic was a beautiful example of a poised and powerful woman.” Scott defines poise as a graceful and elegant bearing. She believes there are five main characteristics of poise:

  1. Confidence: Feeling comfortable in your own skin; a genuine self- assurance.
  2. Composure: Keeping a positive perspective while maintaining calm self –possession.
  3. Compassion: Thinking of others and practicing selflessness.
  4. Presentation: Appropriately and stylishly dressed with good posture.
  5. Present: Poised people live passionately in the present moment

Polish Your Poise book coverThe best part of Chapter 1 is the hope it delivers. “The only thing that matters is that we are all capable of change – of transformation.” (Something I have discovered firsthand.) Scott reminds us of the transformation stories we love… Pygmalion, My Fair Lady, Gigi, Pretty Woman, The Princess Diaries, and Sabrina.  “…deep down we believe we are all capable of a beautiful transformation and that gives us hope.” The reason I blog is to share my own transformation and what I have learned, because it does bring joy and confidence.

She writes pointedly about what I now know is true. “There is nothing more powerful than a changed mind. The moment you change your mind and decide you’d like to pay more attention to your appearance, you ignite that power.” Dignity, grace, style, and elegance are all learned behaviors. Scott writes. “Poise is something you practice on a daily basis. Poise as a way of life is an art form.” Chapter one includes a chart you really must see.

I hope you can get the book, but even if you can’t, take comfort in knowing that I will share more from what I learn. I see many women as they age go through a type of rebellion and reject poise as confining. I have found the opposite to be true. Living with poise has brought me freedom and joy – living the opposite way brought me depression and confusion. Next week I will bring to you for discussion, perhaps, one of the most controversial beliefs in the book! So make sure you return!

What do you think? What happens when you hear the word poise… do you cringe or smile? Do you believe it can be learned? Please discuss and thanks for stopping by each week. Have a good one!

Pamela Lutrell

Pamela Lutrell began her blog, <a href="">over50feeling40</a>, July 2010 with a desire to encourage women over 50 to walk in strength, confidence and joy. Of course, head turning style makes each day fun!

Pamela Lutrell

Pamela Lutrell began her blog, over50feeling40, July 2010 with a desire to encourage women over 50 to walk in strength, confidence and joy. Of course, head turning style makes each day fun!

More Posts - Website

Follow Me:
TwitterFacebookLinkedInPinterestGoogle Plus


Thursday 12th of November 2015

My grandmother was a beautifully poised woman. Although she was not wealthy she always dressed to the max. I always admired her and have tried to emulate her appreciation for beauty and grace. I am always looking for more reinforcement, so I guess I will have to get the book.


Wednesday 11th of November 2015

Pam, it is interesting how we all know poise when we see it and it really just takes a few pointers as you have mentioned! Poise can overcome so much,from a bad hair day, to a difficult situation in life

xoxo Karena The Arts by Karena Artist Sandra Goroff.


Wednesday 11th of November 2015

Poise and chic go hand in hand... I love the way she phrased the five points of poise. They bring to mind a calm and self-assured (not arrogant) woman. My little Kentucky mama was a poised woman and she wasn't raised with money or advantages.


Tuesday 10th of November 2015

I must read this book. My mother was one of these poised ladies and I tried to emulate her. I think of this as elegance and grace, and I agree with you, anyone can learn this. My mom is still living, and at 91 still dresses up and wears muted makeup and is still poised. What an example she is for me!

Anita Irlen

Tuesday 10th of November 2015

I love the concept of poise. It's like equanimity, only more elegant. Poise, like many good things, comes mostly with age, I think. You're right, it is something we have to practice, it's a habit. I wish it was taken more seriously in our society. I'll have to check the book out too. Looking forward to your post. Anita

Comments are closed.
Read previous post:
Financially Assisting Our Adult Children

A lot of us have sound criteria for helping our kids out financially. We know when tough love should be...