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New Year’s Eve…Party for One?

Happy New Year’s Eve! What are your plans? To celebrate with loved ones surrounding…to sit before a television and watch the ball drop in Times Square…to stay up until midnight for a kiss… or maybe even to just hit the sack early?  Well, what I really want to know is will you have a “Woe Is Me Party” or a “Happy 2014 Party?”

resolutions, positive attitude, mother's death, midlife

In October 2013, I said good bye to my mother.  The last three months I have spent a great deal of time reflecting and processing my life with her.  My mother chose to be a victim for almost ninety years.  After all she had a right to it…raised by an abusive, alcoholic father.  I look at her and see so much wasted potential. She was a creative, intelligent, beautiful woman.  But, she chose to throw it all away and live from one New Year’s Pitty Party to the next, and, even worse, she raised all three children with the same “victim-mentality.”   There is always something or someone to blame for life not being perfect…whining went on from dusk to dawn.

Now, the ups and downs in my life can easily be placed on her shoulders. That is what victims do. But, at age fifty, something happened.  I walked out of the fog into clear, blue sky and finally began to live…as an overcomer, and not a victim.  Of course, I regret coming to this party late…but at least I am here.  We should never give up.  Each day is a gift.  The words I use to describe 2013 are words many discovered earlier in life; however, my message to those of you still struggling through is “IT IS NOT TOO LATE!”

Seven words sum up my 2013:

  1. MOVE – For mental and physical health, move more than you sit! Get Up…get out!
  2. LAUGH – I have learned to do this daily…a little vintage Saturday Night Live helps occasionally!
  3. ACCEPT – Don’t fight what I can’t change.  Aging happens. Stop focusing on the new wrinkles.  How can I enjoy this special time of life?
  4. PERSEVERE – Trials are as inevitable as aging.  I have learned to take them one day at a time and not allow them control.  My goal is to make sure my adult children do not live as victims.  This past year has become a time to process and go forward with wisdom and strength.
  5. SAVOR – There were more moments last year to stop and breath in the beauty or opportunity.  Whether it was a sunrise, an autumn leaf, summer days in Chicago, or decorating a new dining room, I moved with slow purpose seeking to enjoy.  We all rush too much.
  6. PASSION – In 2013, I wrote more than I have since college.  Writing has always been my passion…why I shelved it for so long, I will never understand.  No regrets…I am back… and loving each word.
  7. STYLE – Finally, I know Pam-Style!  I am more comfortable with it than ever before and understanding this part of me is confident building and fun!

All seven of these involve choices I made last year… choices how I would respond to life happening around me.  It is not easy…I get that.   We all must decide if our circumstances will control us or the other way around.  For 2014, I am setting seven words aside as goals.  They are

  1. OPPORTUNITY (Believing a 60 year old can discover more opportunities not less)
  2. EAT
  4. MORE
  6. FIT ( not what you might think)

You will have to stop by The Joy Boutique to find out what all of this means.  But, I promise to keep on the shelves inspiration…style guidelines inside and out…and joy for each day.  On this last day of 2013, may we all choose to live as overcomers with hope and expectation for 2014!

What words are on your mind as we enter a new year?

Happy New Year, everyone!

midlife boulevard, columnist, midlife women, middle-age, midlife crisis

Pamela Lutrell

Pamela Lutrell began her blog, over50feeling40, July 2010 with a desire to encourage women over 50 to walk in strength, confidence and joy. Of course, head turning style makes each day fun!

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Anne @MidlifeBlvd

Tuesday 31st of December 2013

Great thoughts, Pam. There's what's happened to us in life, and what we do because of it. I choose to be positive, good, and helpful.

Elaine @ Following Augustine

Tuesday 31st of December 2013

Great post, Pam! I can identify with your description of your mother. Mine held onto hurts and carried lifelong grudges that stunted her growth as a person. She never did let those things go and now, at 91, she's lost in the murky world of dementia and none of the garbage from her past makes a whit of difference. I'm thankful that I saw the wasted potential in her life early and determined not to live that way.

I think my words for 2014 need to be HOPE and TRUST.


Tuesday 31st of December 2013

Thanks for this article. It's always nice when you realize you're not alone. I too was raised in a climate of negativity and wasted potential, a lot of it my own. I also came to the conclusion at 50 that it wasn't too late to change, I still had lots of life in me and in front of me. 2013, and now going into 2014, has been an expression of that feeling. My words are acceptance and growth. Have a very Happy New Year!


Tuesday 31st of December 2013

Thank you for this article. You are a terrific writer. Me, not so much. So I hope you don't mind if I borrow your words of wisdom. Happy New Year, Pam and keep us inspired.

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