I knew what I was getting into before I watched the new Dove video on body image legacy they are promoting with the hashtag #FeelBeautifulFor.
Still, I cried, thinking of my own two teen daughters. I actively try not to speak negatively of my own body or to make comments on theirs. I remember when I was young how even the most innocent comments on my crooked tooth or big bottom burned into my own self-esteem.
I remember a few compliments, but every single negative comment returns to mind with ease. Like most women I could write out a long list of things about my body I don’t like. Even if I don’t speak them aloud my mental list is still there. Without saying the words, I show with every picture I’m either not in or hiding behind a child that I’m uncomfortable with the way I look.
My daughters are young, beautiful, and perfect. I want them to feel beautiful for themselves, and appreciate their strong, healthy bodies, even as they age and change. Can I do the same for myself?
Anne Parris
Anne Parris is a managing partner Midlife Boulevard. Her personal blog, Not A Supermom, is your typical mommy blog that her kids say used to be funnier. Anne has a business degree and a dusty résumé from a top accounting firm and a Fortune 500 company, which she reminds herself of every time she is washing underpants. She lives with her family in Virginia and blogs mostly to support her coffee habit.
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Laurie WJN
Sunday 5th of October 2014
What an incredibly powerful video & I think every Mom with daughters feels the same way after watching it, all of us want to make sure we are not passing our insecurities on to our daughters, we want them to be bold, proud, confident women. Clearly the best way to help our daughters is to learn to accept ourselves - even with all our flaws, and find things to feel good about. Thanks so much for sharing this
Anne Parris
Monday 6th of October 2014
I agree, Laurie! I want them to be Wonder Woman. She never has body issues, even sitting in an invisible jet.
Dr. Margaret Rutherford
Saturday 4th of October 2014
Wow Anne. I had not seen this. This is one of the reasons I was glad I didn't have a daughter. Because of what I knew I had learned from my mom. What I was afraid I would unconsciously pass on to my daughter. Try as I might not to do it. Heck maybe I passed it on to my son. Thanks so much for posting this.
Anne Parris
Monday 6th of October 2014
Whatever your mom did, I think you turned out pretty great anyway (though I'm sure it was probably work on your part!)
Stephanie AKA Little Miss Menopause
Thursday 2nd of October 2014
I have been a big fan of Dove for a long time now and used to show their videos to the teenage girls who showed up for my "Inside-Out Girl" Self-Esteem Raising parties. This one is especially terrific so thanks for posting it. What you wrote is spot on and it's not just what we say aloud but our more subtle actions and mannerisms! I wear a lot of sweaters and vests to hide my upper body....I HATE my large breasts. Suddenly I noticed my daughter doing the same thing in this 90 degree So Cal heat at a cousin's birthday party in the dark!! I couldn't believe it when I asked her if she was chilled and she said, "No, I just thought girls in our family were supposed to hide this part." Great post!
Anne Parris
Monday 6th of October 2014
That's a really powerful story, Stephanie! Who would have thought that was a message you sent and she'd pick up.
Stephanie AKA Little Miss Menopause
Thursday 2nd of October 2014
ps....not in the dark - - in the park! We're a nutty bunch, but not THAT nutty!
Lisha Fink
Thursday 2nd of October 2014
Instilling this in our sons is just as important. As their adult relationships develop, I want them to understand Beautiful on every level. Not just the surface.
Anne Parris
Thursday 2nd of October 2014
Yes, Lisha! I recently read something about a music artist being criticized because his wife is average looking. Really? That makes me respect him MORE.
Joy Page Manuel
Wednesday 1st of October 2014
So true and valuable! I don't have a daughter, only a son, but I know that doesn't matter. As parents, we need to be sensitive to how we could be inadvertently shaping our kids' self-esteem, whether it has to do with physical or non-physical traits. Now I'm reviewing in my head the things I say about myself...hmmm.....Thanks for the wake-up call! :-)
Anne Parris
Wednesday 1st of October 2014
I agree totally, Joy. Thanks for commenting!