I think I’m losing my mind. Seriously. I used to be a compulsive organizer and proud of it. The spices in my spice rack were placed in alphabetical order from anise to turmeric. My closet was color coordinated along with the contents in my under ware drawer. Shoes fit snugly in shoe trees according to heel length and seasonal use. And all of my photo albums were neatly labeled and shelved in chronological order. Freakish to some, but at least I wasn’t cultivating a dust bunny farm.
I was never late for a function, and I could easily juggle work with the kids’ karate/cheerleading/gymnastics/choir/ballet classes effortlessly while entertaining company and serving up a homemade five course meal Martha Stewart style. Wonder Woman had nothing on me.
And then something changed when I entered my menopausal years. It started with the keys. Took me thirty minutes one morning to find them…in the refrigerator between the yogurt and an old bag of potatoes that were starting to grow roots. I kept forgetting to throw them out—something the pre-menopausal me never would have done. The keys? I swear I didn’t leave them in the refrigerator. Surely someone was playing a prank on me—had to be my mischievous kids playing that “Lets-Drive-Mom-Crazy-Until-She -Is -Willing-To-Increase-Our-Allowance-And-Never-Make-Us -Clean-Our-Rooms-Again,” game.
My glasses disappeared the following week and I walked around like a blind mole bumping into furniture and eating what I thought was a brownie but turned out to be a charcoal briquet. How do you find glasses if you need your glasses to find them?
It wasn’t long before I was forgetting appointments with my hairdresser (which explains why my hair looked and felt like worn out Brillo pad). It also explains why the last time I showed up at the doctor’s office to get my cavity filled for a tooth that ached, the nurse reminded me I was there for a colonoscopy and that yes, they were certainly going to fill a cavity while I was there.
What the hell was happening to me? Did all the crazy, drunken weekends from my college years really destroy THAT many brain cells ( I knew that weekend in St. Louis with my sorority sisters was going to cause some long term damage some day)?
Continue reading this post on Marcia Kester Doyle’s blog, Menopausal Mom
Marcia Kester Doyle
Marcia Kester Doyle is the author of the humor book, Who Stole My Spandex? Life In The Hot Flash Lane, and the voice behind the midlife blog, Menopausal Mother. Her work has appeared in The Washington Post, Cosmopolitan, Good Housekeeping, Woman's Day, Country Living, House Beautiful, The Huffington Post, Bonbon Break, Purple Clover, and Scary Mommy, among others. Marcia lives in sunny south Florida with her husband, four children, one feisty granddaughter and three chunky pugs.
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Launna says
I love Marcia’s wit… she always makes me laugh or smile… I am with you on losing the glasses… how are we supposed to find them when we cannot see without them… hahaha
Marcia @ Menopausal Mother says
I know, right? And I need the glasses in order to put on the contact lenses!!
Anne Parris says
Too funny, Marcia! I noticed my nouns disappearing a few years ago as I was searching the house for my…you know…that thingy.
macia @ Menopausal Mother says
That’s too funny, Anne, and yes, I know EXACTLY what you mean!
Kathy Marris says
I can certainly identify with this. It is what I call menopausal brain fog and it is not even recognised as a medical condition! I leave my mobile phone in the weirdest places and it takes me forever to find it. So frustrating!!
Marcia @ Menopausal Mother says
For me it is always the same items–phone, keys and reading glasses. At parties, I always lose my glass of wine!
Ellen @ Bad Word Mama says
Omg Marcia!! That really made me laugh. I freaking loved the part about your glasses.
Marcia @ Menopausal Mother says
HAHAHA that is the story of my life, here! Thanks for stopping by, Ellen!
Marc Malonzo says
Thanks Marcia, you are amazing. I really enjoy it. Thanks for reminding me not to take some things in life to seriously. I also have to thank you for pointing out that this is a part of menopause and it’s not just my wife who can’t find things these days. As a result, I’m more understanding.
Marcia @ Menopausal Mother says
Marc—glad you understand now. We women can help what is happening inside us–menopause messes with our hormones and the serotonin levels in the brain, making us feel like we truly ARE losing our minds. Patience is a virtue in this case.
Sarah Almond says
Wait-you mean it gets WORSE????? Oh crap, little ADD me shall surely lose my head! 😉
Marcia @ Menopausal Mother says
Wine has been steadily helping me lose my mind as well….
Diane says
Bwahahaha! I have only one question. How did you discover you were eating a charcoal briquet? And is that a reflection on your brownie-making? Okay, two questions . . .
Marcia @Menopausal Mother says
Correct! I burned them because I am blind without my glasses!
Pat says
Marcia, too funny, but seriously, you were once a compulsive organizer. What about those of us who don’t have an organized gene in our bodies?
Marcia @Menopausal Mother says
Ohhh I don’t know how I could survive without some organization in my life. But then agin out of 6 of us in the family, 3 have A.D.D. and it has always driven me crazy trying to keep THEM organized as well!
Lisha Fink says
Wow. Motherhood stole my nice rack, and now menopause is gunning for my brain.
Marcia @Menopausal Mother says
Too funny! That pretty much sums up Middle age!