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Friendships At Midlife

midlife friendshipsMiriam can be found at New Achievements Elite Coaching. You can head there to learn more about her and the type of coaching services she provides. 

Some time ago an email showed up in my box titled: Why You Don’t Have Girlfriends.

As I reviewed the answers they shared (reported poll results) I started thinking about so many different things. I’d love to hear your thoughts – whether you agree, disagree or have other questions that might be asked of women in midlife regarding female friendship.

1. At some point in midlife, do some of us outgrow the need to have girlfriends?

2. For all the positives technology affords us, a negative is that we often tend to not trust people we meet online. So if we don’t want to use online platforms to meet other women, how do we meet them?

3. Do so many women stop having girlfriends once their children are off to college? Is that when connections tend to drop off? Does that mean that some of our relationships with other women revolve around our children’s activities and when those activities change, our connection with other moms changes as well?

4. As we grow older why is it more difficult to meet other women and make friends?

5. What is it about girlfriends that some last a lifetime and others lose their thread of connection and disappear?

For me personally, friendship in midlife is quite different from when I was younger. It is a deeper connection, more authentic, more open and being more comfortable with self. But perhaps most important is that I am my own best friend. Eleanor Roosevelt said “Friendship with oneself is all important because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.”

So is it that we first must become our own best friend in order to successfully maintain friendships with other women? Or is it that some of us don’t have a need, desire, or urge to have girlfriends and are quite content with how things currently are?

Surveys, in the end, only beg more questions based on responses.

What do you think?

Miriam Iwrey

20+ years practicing Social Worker (MSW) Certified Elite LIfe Coach Midlife Transition Consultant Midlifer Mom Wife Step-daughter Grandmother

Gilly Maddison

Thursday 25th of February 2016

My female friends have become much more important to me in later life. I have made more friends and they are much more intelligent, highly developed people than the type of friends I used to have.

Miriam

Thursday 25th of February 2016

Hi Gilly--interesting that you make the point about the type of friendships we had when we were younger. Is it that as we age and become wiser we develop friendships with more meaning, authenticity and acceptance of each other?

Mo at Mocadeaux

Wednesday 24th of February 2016

My girlfriends have always been an important part of my life and always will. Yes, some friendships fade or fall away completely. If the only thing you have in connection is that you were room mothers together then, once you've moved on from there, the "friendship" might disappear. I'm lucky enough to be part of a very tight moms and tots group - still going strong after 30 years together. Now we share stories of our grandchildren: Moms and Tots The Next Generation. In midlife, I've made new friends through work and blogging. Last weekend I was at a blog conference and had the opportunity to meet - in real life - a gal with whom I'd been blog pals for 3 years. We spent the entire weekend chatting and laughing and making plans for our next adventure! HaHa! I guess I have pretty strong opinions on girlfriends!

Miriam

Wednesday 24th of February 2016

Hi Mo, thanks for your comments. How absolutely cool to have such lifelong friends! Your opinions on girlfriends are appreciated.

Kim Acedo

Tuesday 23rd of February 2016

I agree, Miriam. I think friendships with like-minded and like-hearted women who are also in midlife is important because of the transitions going on at that time of life. To feel like you're not alone and be able to discuss things with other women who understand what you're going through is vital.

P.S. I love your Eleanor Roosevelt quote!

Miriam

Tuesday 23rd of February 2016

Kim, thanks for your thoughts. Eleanor Roosevelt has always been one of my heroes--she had a unique way of looking at the world.

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