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Don’t Think At Night

Why I Can't SleepMona Andrei’s approach to tale-telling is hilarious and enjoyable. Have a look at why she can’t fall asleep and you’ll find a friend immediately. This post first appeared on her personal blog, Moxie-Dude.

Well here I am, stuck in the middle of the night with no one to talk to except the voices in my head.

They say that insomnia does not discriminate; that it can affect everyone and anything. I disagree. My dogs are sleeping right now. Even the crickets are sleeping right now.


Well except that one.

Not me though. Nope. I’m thinking. AND THINKING.

Here’s how it works with middle-of-the-night thoughts:

You THINK they’re important. You even give them VIP seating as they randomly crawl out of the darkest corners of your mind like a parade of tiny ants dressed in tuxedos.

Thoughts like …

It’s almost 3 a.m.


Oh wait! I shouldn’t be asking questions. Questions only lead to more questions.


Think of something positive.

Positive thought … positive thought …

Oh I know! I’m so lucky to be safe in my bed.

Yup. I wouldn’t want to be outside right now.

3 a.m. is serial killer time.

Like “Miller time” but for psychos.

Crap. Did I forget to lock my car doors???

My car … It must be due for an oil change soon.

I better make a note to take care of that before I forget …

No! If I make a note on my phone I’ll end up checking email and texts and Facebook.

I wonder if it’s true that screens affect our sleep patterns.

Maybe it’s my screen’s fault that I can’t sleep.

But I need screens.

How would I make a living without screens?

I wonder if writers slept better when all they had was pen and paper.

Or maybe it’s an age thing.

I should ask the teens if they have trouble sleeping.

I’ll send them a text.


If they’re sleeping I’ll wake them up.

And if they’re awake I’ll wonder WHY they’re awake.

Oh, insomnia.


They say that a gazillion people suffer from insomnia.

Geesh. A gazillion people.

That’s a sobering statistic.

That’s like EVERYBODY.

So why am I fighting insomnia by myself when everyone else is awake, too?

Sobering statistic. PFFF.


Our understanding of insomnia is driven by SOBERING STATISTICS.

Clearly what this sleep-deprived world needs is more wine.

Oh and speaking of wine, I need to add that to my grocery list.

I’ll forget. I should make a note.

No! No note. No screens. It’s what’s keeping me up.

Sigh …


I think …I’m … getting … sleepy …

Oh no.

Don't Think At Night


Mona Andrei

Mona Andrei is a technical writer for a serious company in a serious industry. When she’s had enough serious for one day, she likes to write irreverent posts for her personal blog, Moxie-Dude, life updates gone wrong. Or right. She’s undecided. Follow her on Twitter @MoxieDude

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