Mona Andrei’s approach to tale-telling is hilarious and enjoyable. Have a look at why she can’t fall asleep and you’ll find a friend immediately. This post first appeared on her personal blog, Moxie-Dude.
Well here I am, stuck in the middle of the night with no one to talk to except the voices in my head.
They say that insomnia does not discriminate; that it can affect everyone and anything. I disagree. My dogs are sleeping right now. Even the crickets are sleeping right now.
Well except that one.
Not me though. Nope. I’m thinking. AND THINKING.
Here’s how it works with middle-of-the-night thoughts:
You THINK they’re important. You even give them VIP seating as they randomly crawl out of the darkest corners of your mind like a parade of tiny ants dressed in tuxedos.
Thoughts like …
It’s almost 3 a.m.
WHY CAN’T I SLEEP???
Oh wait! I shouldn’t be asking questions. Questions only lead to more questions.
Think of something positive.
Positive thought … positive thought …
Oh I know! I’m so lucky to be safe in my bed.
Yup. I wouldn’t want to be outside right now.
3 a.m. is serial killer time.
Like “Miller time” but for psychos.
Crap. Did I forget to lock my car doors???
My car … It must be due for an oil change soon.
I better make a note to take care of that before I forget …
No! If I make a note on my phone I’ll end up checking email and texts and Facebook.
I wonder if it’s true that screens affect our sleep patterns.
Maybe it’s my screen’s fault that I can’t sleep.
But I need screens.
How would I make a living without screens?
I wonder if writers slept better when all they had was pen and paper.
Or maybe it’s an age thing.
I should ask the teens if they have trouble sleeping.
I’ll send them a text.
If they’re sleeping I’ll wake them up.
And if they’re awake I’ll wonder WHY they’re awake.
They say that a gazillion people suffer from insomnia.
Geesh. A gazillion people.
That’s a sobering statistic.
That’s like EVERYBODY.
So why am I fighting insomnia by myself when everyone else is awake, too?
Sobering statistic. PFFF.
THAT’S THE PROBLEM.
Our understanding of insomnia is driven by SOBERING STATISTICS.
Clearly what this sleep-deprived world needs is more wine.
Oh and speaking of wine, I need to add that to my grocery list.
I’ll forget. I should make a note.
No! No note. No screens. It’s what’s keeping me up.
I think …I’m … getting … sleepy …