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How To Ruin a Wedding Dress

clorox 2 how toI am a born klutz. I have tripped on my way to podiums, spilled wine down new dresses (mine and other people’s,) and skinned more knees that humanly possible.

Usually my lack of grace results in a laundry challenge, if not a hospital visit. Most recently I laughed so hard at a Fourth of July cookout that my camp chair fell backward into the grass, spilling me and my soda. I lay there stunned and sticky for a few seconds before hopping up to laugh all the way to the laundry room.

I think my moment of peak gracelessness happened at my own wedding reception. I wanted a simple waltz for our first dance. Our song was the Frank Sinatra version of Night and Day. Since dance lessons weren’t available in our small college town, I bought a VHS tape of wedding dance lessons and practiced in my apartment. I can forgive my then-fiance’ for not practicing as much since he was also finishing his Master’s thesis. Also, he’s never once tripped over his own feet, so he had that advantage.

At our reception, my new husband took me in his arms, twirled me out on the dance floor, and we proceeded to do the most awkward box step you can imagine.

wedding dance

Our wedding dance. This picture survived a house fire, but that’s another story.

Still, we were crazy about each other, so I didn’t even mind that when I inevitably bobbled, he stepped on the hem of my enormous silk ballgown. I noticed the black shoe polish as I was preparing my gown for storage.

At the time I felt a pang of regret. I consider myself to be a laundry ninja. With the right tools and techniques there’s no laundry I can’t get dazzlingly clean and fresh. Some may call it OCD, but for me it’s a calling. I am not ashamed in the pride I take in getting clothes really clean.

Still, there’s no washing shoe polish out of silk shantung. My dry cleaner even tried and failed.

Recently I pulled my wedding gown out for my teenage daughters to see. After twenty years my gown looks a little dated (hello, giant butt bow!) and much smaller than I remember.

But seeing the swipe of black polish on the hem doesn’t bother my laundry ninja spirit. Instead it takes me right back to that country club ballroom on the hottest July day ever, where I wore a ridiculously giant ball gown and waltzed for the first (and last) time with the husband I love more than ever.

I didn’t let my gown being stained ruin my happy day or my memories of it. Since then I’ve had multiple washing machines, a huge number of children, and a million loads of laundry. I’ve cleaned mud off of soccer uniforms, red Popsicle out of camp tshirts, and thousands of socks that got filthier than I thought humanly possible.

Dirty laundry is a challenge I enjoy because I love the satisfaction of taking the worst my family can do to fabric and getting it beautifully clean.

It’s easy with the right tools and techniques. Here are by best tips.

29205Pre-treat stains as soon as possible

For best results, apply Clorox 2® Stain Remover & Color Booster directly to stains.
Rub in gently and set for 5–10 minutes. Do not allow to dry on fabric.
Wash as usual with Clorox 2® product and your favorite detergent. Using Clorox 2® Stain Remover & Color Booster gets more out of your laundry. It removes four times more stains than detergent alone. That means you’ll get more life out of your clothes, more looking good out of your closet, and more fun out of every day.

Remove Stains and Boost Colors

For standard washing machines, add product to the wash basin along with your favorite detergent.

Fill the cap to the first fill line for small or regular loads and to the second fill line for large or extra-large loads.

Yes, you can use Clorox 2 in high-efficiency washers! For HE washing machines, fill to the first fill line and add product with your favorite detergent in the detergent dispenser.

For best results, start your top-loading washer and add both detergent and product before adding clothes.

For extra-dirty clothes, pre-soak the garments before washing in mixture of 1 capfull of product (to the first line) and 2 gallons of water (the warmest water recommended on the care label). Pre-soak for 30 minutes.

For tips on how to get more out of life and laundry, visit


For a chance to win a Clorox 2 prize pack, including

One $200 Cloud9 gift card: Cloud9Living
One Clorox 2 Stain Remover Pen
One Clorox 2 Stain Remover liquid,

enter our giveaway. Giveaway runs from 8/29/2016 until 9/12/2016.

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For more info follow @Clorox on social media, or the hashtags #Clorox2 and#GetMoreOutMonday

I am participating in a VIN campaign for Clorox® . I am receiving a fee for posting; however, the opinions expressed in this post are my own. I am in no way affiliated with Clorox® and do not earn a commission or percent of sales.

Anne Parris

Anne Parris is a managing partner Midlife Boulevard. Her personal blog, Not A Supermom, is your typical mommy blog that her kids say used to be funnier. Anne has a business degree and a dusty résumé from a top accounting firm and a Fortune 500 company, which she reminds herself of every time she is washing underpants. She lives with her family in Virginia and blogs mostly to support her coffee habit.

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