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How Often Do You Complain?

It is so easy to complain. Sometimes it becomes such a habit, we don’t even realize we are doing it. I suppose it’s just human nature to complain. It could even be harming your relationship.

My very wise grandma told me when I was younger that complaining never did anyone any good. (Don’t get me wrong. There is always a time and place to voice a constructive criticism that might yield a good result.) My grandma was one of the kindest, appreciative, cheerful, and uncomplaining people I have ever known. If she complained, I didn’t witness it.

I realized lately I have been complaining about something I have been struggling with for a long time. My struggle is with time, or lack thereof. For as long as I can remember I have felt like I don’t have enough time to do all the things I want to do. And, I’ll be darned if all the people who told me that time goes by quicker as you get older, aren’t right. At least it seems like it. I feel that the days are flying by and I find myself getting ready for bed again and wondering where the days are going. Am I complaining? Ha, ha…. see what I mean?

So, what’s a girl (or guy!) to do? STOP COMPLAINING! My wise mom always told me that you get more of what you focus on. Well, I want more time, not less time. So, my goal is to stop complaining about my perceived lack of time, and start making the most of the present moment. I will probably start claiming I have more than enough time. A new mindset certainly can’t hurt.

Now, on to anger or getting mad. Just like complaining, getting mad can become a habit that doesn’t serve us. Several times lately I have found myself feeling very angry over various things. Most often my anger is stemming from an injustice I am feeling. Lots of times it doesn’t even have anything to do with me.

The other day when I was feeling angry I realized that the act of me feeling angry wasn’t doing a bit of good. It was absolutely unproductive. It didn’t change the situation one bit. Furthermore, it wasn’t even about me. Once I realized this, the anger just melted away. I also was reminded that taking care of myself is a full time job and I really can’t afford to get mad over things I have no control over.

When my kids were little whenever there was a problem I always told them to start looking for a solution. I still tell them this. I also apply this principle to myself whenever I can.

If you think about it, we all have problems, big and little. If we complain or get mad about our problems we aren’t making things better. We are for sure not making anything better when the situation isn’t even about us.

So, I am going to do my best to not make a habit of complaining or getting angry needlessly.

I hope 2017 has been kind to you so far. Remember the saying that if you love life, it will love you back!

Tomi Rues

I have been an adjunct faculty member for almost twenty years. I have a masters in Speech Communication. Currently, I blog, write grants, volunteer, and take care of my family. Some things I love: simplifying, organizing, reading, writing, nature, exercise, family, animals, and baking, especially cookies. You can find me at Go check it out!

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Antionette Blake

Saturday 14th of January 2017

I make it a habit to not complain too often because negative energy takes away from what otherwise is a great day. Traffic is my major complaint and since I can't do anything about my 3 hour daily commute, I just pray and drive.

Tomi Rues

Sunday 15th of January 2017

I appreciate your comment. You are so right - complaining is negative energy, and I don't want that. Wow, a three hour commute is really something. I am sure you listen to audiobooks, podcasts, etc. Praying is always terrific too. You probably already know this, but if you have a iphone, you can go to your notes apps and push the microphone key and talk into your phone. I did this while working on a book. I would record my words and then copy and paste into my book pages. Thanks for your comment.


Saturday 14th of January 2017

Hi Tomi, I agree that complaining about things we have no control over can be counter-productive. It takes our energy and increases stress. If I can, I try to stay calm and let things I can't change wash over me. It helps me to focus and keep things in perspective, which, in the long run, I think are both more productive ways of being kinder to myself. Thank you for a thought-provoking post.

Tomi Rues

Sunday 15th of January 2017

Jackqui, you made such excellent points! Thank you. Complaining does take our energy and increase our stress. There is no reason we would want that. I like the visual image of letting something "wash over me." It feels like it's temporary and not something I need to carry around with me. Also, keeping one's perspective is so important. I can forget that sometimes. Thanks for your comments.

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