The Great Bra Evolution

The Evolution of Bras

It goes much like the rest of our life, first we’re dying to have them, then we hate them.  From training bras to granny bras, there’s definitely a timeline to this story.

It Begins: First Bras

Like most girls I was eager for the day my mom said it was time to get my first bra.  It meant I was growing up, and it meant I was finally getting BOOBS!  Boobs are a big deal when you don’t have them, especially if your friends do!  And my friends had them…big ones! Meanwhile, I had zilch.  Mosquito bites.

I was so excited to put that bra on over my non-existent boobs.  I remember that I definitely wanted her to get the kind that had the little pink bow in the middle.  It was important.  I needed the bow.  The bow made the bra cooler.  She pointed out no one but me would see the bow, I did not care!  I remember proudly wearing it to school the next day and hoping someone would notice.

And they did.

They noticed.

OMG, they saw my bra strap. I was mortified!

I wore that single bra my mother bought me every day.  After all, I had boobs now so I clearly needed to wear a bra, right?  I begged for more.  I needed more than one.  Now that I was in the ‘wears a bra’ club, I had to wear one every. single. day.

The Hot Years: Pretty Bras

Fast forward a few years to the teenage years.  Bras were fun!  Through my teens and twenties I bought the lacey, pretty, brightly colored bras.  I spared no expense. I actually did have boobs now, not the training bra kind but the real kind. They were perfect and perky and I wanted to show them off. Cleavage was my friend! I shopped at Victoria’s Secret. Comfort was not a consideration, sexiness was, and prettiness was, comfort was for granny bras and old ladies! I was young; I was hot! (okay maybe not hot, but you know…hotter than I am now. Work with me here!)

After the hot sexy Victoria’s Secret bras came the worst bras of all.

The Practical Years: Nursing Bras

OMG, nursing bras suck so badly I cannot even explain it to those of you who have never experienced them.  They’re the bra equivalent of those old grandpa pajamas with the flap on the back, only those pajamas are comfortable and these, well these are cruel torture devices designed in hell and shipped to hormonal pregnant women all over the world.  Now, granted I may be partial since breast feeding was not a joyous experience for me.  It was hellish, and so were the undergarments that came with it.

Now we enter the post-pregnancy and nursing bra era.  I no longer have time, or energy, or budget to buy cute, sexy bras.  My bras are old, and worn out, one of them (my favorite) has a tiny hole in the back by the clasp.  I wear it anyway.  As for colors, they come in two varieties….white, or nude.  There is no lace.  Lace is itchy!  They don’t come from Victoria’s Secret, hell they don’t even come from JCPenney, they come from Target, or Walmart!

I remember being completely desperate for new bras, down to my last one most likely, and having to take my preschool-aged son with me to Target to find some new ones.  As he, in his loud little boy voice proclaimed from the shopping cart “Oh my gosh mommy, did you see THAT one, it’s HUGE!”.  He was right, it was huge.  I grabbed three of the same bra (all in beige) and ran to the checkout.

The Hot Flash Years: Comfortable Bras

Comfort is key, I have told you this before.  I want everything to stay put, no bouncing, no poking out, no riding up or sliding down, I just want the boobs contained.  In one place.  Out of sight, and out of mind!

In my happy, perky boob age I remember my mother and her sisters talking about their love of a bra called the Minimizer.  It was designed to minimize the size of your bust.  I was befuddled, to say the least!  Why on earth would anyone want to downplay the size of their boobs?  Boobs rule the world people!  Have you not seen Erin Brockovich?

Now, in my post baby body, I get it.  I totally, totally get it!  Minimize them.  Put them away so no one has to see them!

Read more from Angela Keck on her blog, Writer Mom’s Blog