Besotted with love. Bewitched by his every move. Can’t stop thinking about him. Wondering what he is doing now. Wait one minute, then wondering again. Looking at pictures of him over and over. He isn’t much to look at. Pretty much bald, over-size head, big ears, small mouth. But I think he is beautiful.
WHO KNEW I COULD BE THIS MUCH IN LOVE AT MY AGE?
The intensity of my feelings reminds me of junior high, the year I turned 13, when infatuations ruled the day. Will he give me his i.d. bracelet? Will he ask me to dance? What can I do to make him notice me? What will I do if he does notice me? Head over heels, his every gesture enchants me. I could stare at him for hours.
My husband is quite tolerant of my behavior. He remembers my youthful, flirtier days fondly. He is not upset by the sudden appearance of this new significantly younger man in my life. One that seizes all my attention and conscious thought. My spouse of 36 years thinks it is cute, charming, even, that I am so consumed by this new passion.
THE OBJECT OF MY AFFECTION DOES NOT SAY MUCH.
Sadly (and not unlike my experiences with 7th grade boys), he does not know I exist. His vision is limited. He has great lungs, though, and can be heard loudly by many. His cries do not upset me. I see them as a sign of strength and vigor. I can’t get enough of them.
This is probably what the poets meant when they talked of love sickness. Except that the object of my affection (again like my 7th grade crushes) does not love me back. I am fine with that. Who knew I could handle unrequited passion with this much aplomb! I am the very picture of calm (me??) I am confident that one day, one day very soon, he will get to know me, and he will adore me in return.
FOR NOW, I AM CONTENT TO HAVE A ONE-WAY AFFAIR.
After all he is only 6 months old.
So I wait for a sign, a signal from him that he knows I am a part of his life, an object of his affection.
Thinking – what should he call me? grandma? nana?
Of course it will be months before he learns who I am, much less learns to talk.
I am waiting.
Very very happily.
*This grandmother and grandchild tale is dedicated to our 1st grandchild – and to all other new grandmas who have fallen in love with a person under 10 lbs.*
Visit Nancy Wolf’s website, Witty, Worried and Wolf