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Getting Risky Provides Better Orgasms

Last month an article on the website touted “Getting Risky” as one of the best ways to have a truly phantasmagorical orgasm. The article suggested couples try hiking in precipitous climes as the kind of risk one might take in order to have an orgasmic whopper.

sex, married sex, better sex, orgasms, midlife, midlife women

Unfortunately, all this brought to mind for me was the recent story of a disgruntled bride who promised her new husband “a surprise” while they were hiking and proceeded to push him off a cliff to his death. I suspect there were no orgasms involved in that particular jaunt.

Then one can’t help but think of Monica Bellucci’s orgasm with Clive Owen in Shoot ‘Em Upwhich he managed to bestow upon her whilst shooting eight armed assassins. I’ve discussed this possibility with my husband Henry and while he’s certainly capable, he just felt the body count was too high.

But I can’t dismiss this risky sex tip out-of-hand. Since the onset of the Child Plague my sex with Henry has been confined to our bedroom after (we hope) our kids are asleep and then, just like Elmer Fudd, we have to be vewy vewy quiet. Which often leads to Zzzzzzz.

So one night, not too long ago, I decided to take charge of the situation by hiring a babysitter to surprise my husband after the girls’s soccer practice (no, not that kind of surprise, you naughty swingers), by giving him a note from me that told him to meet me at the lounge in the Avalon Hotel for drinks. Oh. “And we don’t know each other.”

What ensued was an incredibly sexy “first date” between “Paul” and “Crystal.”

We got off to a rocky start when Paul decided we’d both been in the porn industry. But we somehow managed to get past it. Crystal had used her earnings as an adult performer to get her two sons through school (even if they think she’s their sister, not their mother) and Paul eventually left the producing end of the business to invest in the stock market.

He’d also had an interesting, but painful childhood wherein his father had been one of the first blimp pilots, which was fun, the only trouble being he had a “blimp girl” in every “blimp port,” whom Paul referred to as the “Blimpees,” which spelled disaster for his parent’s marriage.

After dinner Paul and Crystal found their way to a very risky locale to have sex. Which was the back of their minivan parked on Beverly Drive at 11 p.m. on a Thursday. The whole time (at least three minutes) they feared they’d be busted by Beverly Hill’s finest. Which made for the Best. Orgasms. Ever.

So, what risky business will you try? Don’t be shy, the story you tell may help someone else. And go…!

midlife boulevard, columnist, midlife women, middle-age, midlife crisis

Shannon Bradley-Colleary

Shannon Bradley-Colleary blogs at The Woman Formerly Known As Beautiful. She's also a contributing blogger on The Huffington Post. Her posts have landed her on The Today Show, NPR, CNN, Raising America with Kyra Phillips, Fox11News and more. She's been published in The DailyMail Online, Babble, Blogher and MomsLA. Her book, Into The Child: 40 Weeks in the Gestational Wilderness was named one of the Top 100 Indie Books of 2012 by the Kirkus Review. Her book, Smash, Crash and Burn: Tales From The Edge Of Celebrity, details her life as an L.A. Wacktress (waiter/actress) in the early 90s; including her relationship with Brandon Bruce Lee and a her tête-à-tête with David Schwimmer. She kisses and tells. Shannon is thrilled to be a monthly columnist on Midlife Boulevard.

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Sunday 9th of March 2014


Walker Thornton

Friday 7th of March 2014

Love this! I'm not too risky about sex if it involves public places...though admittedly I did have a hot thing going with a guy I'd see in a bar occasionally. He followed me into the ladies room one night and locked the door behind him. I was sure that everyone was staring when we 'discreetly' came back to our seats, separately. Trying not to look like we'd been together.

Shannon Bradley-Colleary

Saturday 8th of March 2014

Hi Walker -- the guy in the ladies room sounds hot hot hot. Reminds me of Diane Lane and Olivier Martinez in "Unfaithful."


Thursday 6th of March 2014

Yeah, I could totally see seven. But eight? Okay, obviously fiction! Okay, ours? Six kids with a sitter. Back of our van at a drive-in. We just had to say we did it once!!! Wonder no more where those six kids came from . . .

Shannon Bradley-Colleary

Thursday 6th of March 2014

Diane I wish there was a drive-in near us!


Wednesday 5th of March 2014

Gotta love your husband's confidence in worrying about a too high body count. I think Van Rocking beats out Cliff Pushing every time.

Shannon Bradley-Colleary

Thursday 6th of March 2014

Van rocking has become our specialty. Which is strange since that should have happened back in college, not now.

Carpool Goddess

Wednesday 5th of March 2014

Shannon, I mean Crystal, you always crack me up! Keep the stories coming. No pun intended;)

Shannon Bradley-Colleary

Wednesday 5th of March 2014

Hello you gorgeous woman. Your cheeks seem extra-rosy. Were you and your husband perhaps, diving with sharks?

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