Moving . . . a new job . . . realizing that you’ve just burnt dinner and you have no back-up plan. These are some of the most stressful situations in a person’s life. None moreso than ending a relationship.
It’s “the break-up”, which sits on a plateau of its very own. No matter what the reason or who the initiator, the thing about break-ups is that the saddest part doesn’t actually come at the moment of the split, but much later when you realize: “Oh. I guess it really IS over.”
This is because “The End” has four phases. Think of the four legs of a bar stool.
PS. Even if you’ve been married or whatever for a gazillion years and have no idea what I’m talking about, you’ll still be able to relate to the bar stool analogy because who can’t relate to a bar stool?
PPS. That wasn’t actually a question.
Phase 1: Realizing you’ve been overlooking yourself
Right or wrong for each other, there’s something sentimental about growing a relationship. And since the majority of you, awesome readers, are women, I think you’ll relate when I say that we have this tendency of wanting to accommodate every aspect of our lives.
Until that day when we wake up and realize that we don’t even like scrambled eggs . . . or war movies . . . or being lied to about everything.
This is actually a very scary phase because it means that it’s time to re-evaluate what’s supposed to be the most important aspect of our lives: our partner.
The questions that haunt us during this phase go something like this:
What if it’s me?
Am I being selfish?
What if there’s no one out there for me?
What if I’m just afraid of being alone?
And even though the gods-that-be do not descend and bestow you with the answers, you think that maybe just the fact that you’re ASKING is a sign. Then something happens that pushes you onto the darker side of second-guessing yourself and the next thing you know, you’ve ended it.
Phase 2:
Continue reading this post Mona Andrei’s blog, Moxie-Dude.com
Editor’s note: Need a book to help you get through a breakup? Here are some book recommendations. Purchasing through our affiliate links helps support Midlife Boulevard.
Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You by Susan J. Elliott.
Mona Andrei
Mona Andrei is a technical writer for a serious company in a serious industry. When she’s had enough serious for one day, she likes to write irreverent posts for her personal blog, Moxie-Dude, life updates gone wrong. Or right. She’s undecided. Follow her on Twitter @MoxieDude
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