Fertility – it’s Not Just About Babies

It’s the day after Easter, religious holiday for some, an excuse to eat chocolate bunnies, and for others an old (pagan) ritual observing the rites of fertility and spring. No matter what you think of the day, we are in the season of spring—new beginnings, blossoms, lambs and chicks, all things we associate with fertility.

As women in the menopausal phase of life, we no longer see ourselves as fertile. Maybe we feel as if that part of our life is over. Yes, we’re free of the challenges and blessings of fertility, in the physical sense, but we are no less fertile at this age. And no less desirous, or capable of, enjoying sex.

Sex was viewed strictly as a way to procreate, for us to continue the species on earth. Historically, couples married and mated in order to produce offspring. Once a woman no longer had her menses she might not have sex any longer; in some religions and periods of time, sex for pleasure was forbidden.

Today we know, to our delight,  that sex need not be related strictly to procreation. Pleasure is high on the list of reasons to engage in intimacy with a partner. Pleasure has no age limits. At age 25, 49, 75 or 91 we seek pleasure. How we go about bringing pleasure into our lives might change—but nonetheless, we turn to others or pleasure ourselves in order to experience sensual feelings, intimacy and sexual release.

I believe women remain fertile throughout the entirety of their lives. Post-menopause does not dry us up in life…or necessarily for sex. Creativity, energy, ambition, fun-seeking behavior, learning and giving are with us through out our lives. We have fertile imaginations. We plant the seeds for relationships, embrace new ideas, and go about our daily lives productively. None of this ceases to be important when our menstrual periods stop.

So, why would we consider ourselves any less alive or vibrant as we age? Think about famous older women throughout history and decide if they’ve shut down due to age? Do Judi Dench or Queen Elizabeth seem to be just sitting quietly waiting for the end? What about Georgia O’Keefe who painted into her 90’s? Alice Munro published a collection of short stories in the year she turned 80. These women remained vibrant and full of life beyond their ‘expiration’ date.

Today we live in such a youth-obsessed culture that it’s easy to see ourselves as slipping towards invisibility as we age. Our society uses that obsession to dismiss us. Sometimes we actively dismiss ourselves as well. It always saddens me to hear a woman talk about her sex life drying up. Or her creative energies—and I do believe they are connected.

“I’m old enough that it doesn’t matter any more.”

Our bodies change, our wants and needs change. The libido ebbs and flows—and we translate desire into something new as the years pass. But, underneath it all, we remain Woman until the day we cease to exist on the planet. And, that means we have the pleasure of tapping into all of our creative, fertile energies. It’s up to each of us to discern what that means in our lives.

“Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.” – Rumi