A Few Tips for God

Peggy Browning has a few suggestions for the big guy upstairs. Read more from Peggy on her blog. 

Dear God:

Thank you for your Word. (I believe it was made flesh at one time, wasn’t it?) Thank You for talking to us, your children. Having said that, I have a few requests for more direct communication.

Please stop talking to stupid people. Or if you can’t stop talking to them, please stop joking with them about running for President of the United States. You and I both know that you’re just kidding…but they are taking you seriously. SMH.

Please tell the Duggars to get off TV and stop being dumbasses. Well, okay…they probably can’t even begin to stop being dumbasses, but could you please tell them to get off TV? And the internet? And the radio? And the newspapers? And all the gossip rags? Speaking of talking too much…oh, man! They do it to excess! You know what I mean.

Please tell Rick Santorum that the Pope IS a scientist and Rick is not.

Please tell people to stop feigning surprise about Bill Cosby being accused of not being a person of integrity even though he played one on TV. And remind them that this is not a new thing…David harassed and coerced Bathsheba. Emphasize to women that we still need to be on guard even though we shouldn’t have to be.

And about Bruce/Caitlyn… oh, what’s that you said? Don’t even go there? Okay. I’ll just shut up and let you handle this one.

Oh, and another thing…would you tell those prosperity preachers to spread it around? It seems they don’t much believe in the fishes and loaves thing where all the people were fed by the abundance given by YOU. They keep the money and spend it on private jets and such. They are manna from heaven hogs.

Could you remind us of what is important and give us a little kick in the behind to get us back on track about taking care of our children, feeding the hungry, clothing the naked (including Miley Cyrus and Rihanna), giving shelter to those without it, being kind, speaking encouragement, and loving each other? It seems we’ve forgotten. We need a reminder.

Oh, and speaking of reminders…could you remind me to take care of my own business before butting in on everybody else’s business? You remember what I’m talking about, right? That thing about being all atwitter over the splinter in my neighbor’s eye when I’ve got a whole stinking log in my own eye? Just a sticky note on the fridge will do.

While you’re at it…would you mind putting sticky notes about that on other people’s refrigerators? They keep forgetting it, too.

We’re not very good listeners. We have selective hearing. We hear only what benefits us and we cherry-pick what you’ve told us time and again to prove our own points. We’re ridiculous, I know.

And yet You keep on talking to us…my dear God, you are patient.

Well, got to run…TTYL.

Love ya,

Peg