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All of Me – a Birthday Celebration

I wait in the clearing for them to join me. It is my celebration, after all.

birthday, birthday celebration, stages of life, growing up, getting older, midlife, memory

The sun is shining, bathing the lea in a warm glow. There is an entire meadow of soft greenery for us to dig our toes into. Nothing sharp, nothing dangerous, nothing to mar our time together. There is just the slightest breeze. The sky is the most pleasant timeless blue imaginable.

The first to arrive is a girl about 8 years old. Her skin has a sage tint, the downshot of difficulties in breathing. She brings me worms, leftover from when she gathered a bunch for her sister’s birthday. For some reason she thought worms would make a good gift. She is a bundle of fears, although she is well-fed and well-loved. I just want to hold her while she breathes. I want to breathe for her.

Soon, the 17-year old comes upon us, all arms and legs and attitude. She is skittish, like a colt, just waiting to be hurt. It’s because Doug, her boyfriend, has just dumped her for the 4th time. Well, they’ve broken up 4 times, but she was the dumper at least once. I think about telling her there will be many more heartbreaks, and that she’ll have ample opportunity to be on both ends of them. Each one hurts, but when it’s all said and done, she’ll be thankful that she and Doug (and the many that follow him) parted. I’d tell her, but she wouldn’t believe me. She hands me her diary, the one she just started and intends to keep for the rest of her life.

The next young woman arrives in a black gown and mortarboard and with a gold cord dangling from collar to waist. You can feel the promise that fills her. She looks both ready to tackle and tame the world and also petrified of taking her next step. She will face rejection after rejection before she comes on a job with a meager paycheck that will fulfill her emotional, if not monetary, needs. She is planning a wedding, but is having thoughts of calling the whole thing off. The burden of this thought weighs down her shoulders. I whisper to her, “listen to your gut.” She looks at me hopefully and shows me the keys to her first apartment. Where she will live alone.

Continue reading this post on Lori Holden’s blog, Lavender Luz

Lori Holden

Lori Holden blogs at <a href="http://lavenderluz.com">Lavender Luz</a> and can be found on Twitter @LavLuz. She lives in Denver with her husband and two tweenagers and is an aficionada of dark chocolate, red wine and good coffee. Her book, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Open-Hearted-Way-Open-Adoption-Helping/dp/1442217383/">“The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption: Helping Your Child Grow Up Whole,”</a> was written with her daughter's birth mom and is available in hard cover and Kindle formats. Lori is an award-winning speaker and writer whose work has appeared on <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lori-holden-/">The Huffington Postt</a>, BlogHer and the Denver Post moms site, and in magazines like Parenting, Adoptive Families, Conceive, and Partners in Health. Find Lori on Instagram: lavenderluz

Lori Lavender Luz

Wednesday 13th of November 2013

Thank you, Kim :-)

Kim Jorgensen Gane

Tuesday 12th of November 2013

Hauntingly beautiful!

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