27 Love Songs for Midlife

This post is co-written by Janet Golden and first appeared on www.womensvoicesforchange.org.

When the two of you are driving to the chiropractor, to the pharmacy, or to attend your grandson’s kindergarten play to enjoy his fleeting appearance as Snow Flake Number Seven, the songs you first fell in love to might still be on the radio, but no longer seem relevant.

Here, instead, are a few Love Songs For Long-Married Couples:

1. Every Little Thing She Does Is Menopausal
2. I Got You and Erectile Dysfunction, Babe
3. My Heart Will Go On, Now That I’ve Got This Pacemaker
4. Baby I Love Your Hot Flashes
5. Total Eclipse of The Hip
6. I Will Always Love You, Even When You Steal The Blankets
7. Maybe I’m Amazed That I Still Remember Your Name
8. Time after Time You Remove Your Dentures
9. Killing Me Softly With His Snoring
10. All You Need is Bran
11. When A Man Loves A Woman (He Invests Wisely In a 401(k))
12. Love Me Tender I’ve Got Brittle Bones
13. It’s Only Love (That Keeps Me From Throwing Out That Old Barcalounger)
14. I Want You To Want Me To Buy A New Prius.
15. Wonderful Tonight. And Tomorrow Night. (See? Leftovers Aren’t That Bad.)
16. First Time Ever I Saw Your Face Was in 1968
17. How Deep Is your Love Because I Can’t Reach that Top Shelf
18. Love To Love You Baby But Not After 9:30
19. Heartbreak Hotel Has Better Rates With  A Senior Discount
20. You Are The Sunshine of My Life and I’m Using SPF 30.
21. You’re The one That I Want To Go Down And Make The Coffee
22. Love Will Keep us Together Because It Sure Isn’t Your Cooking
23. I Will Survive Your Cooking
24. Fly Me To The Moon So I Can Avoid Your Cooking
25. Feels So Right To Get Chinese Take OutThree Times A Lady Called About That Insurance Policy
26. Let’s Get It On Before The Early Bird Special Ends