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8 Reasons Why Women are Always Late – and Men Aren’t

Wondering why women are late more often than men are? Kimba Dalferes has the answers. Read more from Kimba on her blog.

8 Reasons Why Women are Late - and Men Aren't

A guy friend – not Hubs – recently lamented: Why are women ALWAYS late??

Oh, this is an easy one; I got this.

 

When men leave the house each morning:

  1. The TV is on – in every room.
  2. Yesterday’s clothes are on the floor.
  3. Dirty dishes are in the sink.
  4. The kitty litter box is over-flowing.
  5. The kids are still in bed.
  6. Though he probably takes a shower – the shaving is optional.
  7. He grabs the first pair of pants in the closet that aren’t on the floor.
  8. He will make a pit stop at McDonalds for breakfast.

When women leave the house each morning:

  1. The dog has been walked, fed, and groomed.
  2. All electronics are off and unplugged.
  3. Tonight’s dinner is in the crock pot.
  4. The laundry is done, folded, and put away.
  5. The kitchen is spotless, de-sanitized and fresh flowers are on the counter.
  6. She’s showered, shaved her legs, washed, blow-dried and styled her hair, put on make-up and gone through five outfits before she’s decided what to wear.
  7. The kids are up, dressed, fed, had their backpacks checked (twice), and are out the door to wait for the school bus. By the way, Mom doesn’t leave the neighborhood until she sees the bus drive by.
  8. She’s made a protein smoothie to take with her on the commute.

There you have it; this is why women are always late. Any questions?

Response from guy friend: can I buy the next round?

Why yes, yes you can.

Kimba Dalferes

Kimba Dalferes is a native Floridian, but currently pretends to be a Virginian. She is an accomplished king salmon slayer, estate sale junkie, and sometimes writes books. She is currently working on the sequel to her first book “I Was In Love With a Short Man Once.” This next book, “Magic Fishing Panties” will be out in 2015. She divides her time between Fairfax and Smith Mountain Lake, Virginia with husband Greg and occasionally her son Jimmy; when he is home from college. She also hangs out in <a href="http://kimdalferes.com/category/kim-dalferes-blog">The Middle-Aged Cheap Seats </a>.

BigStallion 96

Monday 26th of September 2016

Nope. Women are late because they are more emotional than men usually. Meaning: the fact that time (a stable thing) doesnt bend to their more unstable emotional state makes them more susceptible of being late.

Kevin

Tuesday 10th of May 2016

Total stereotyping and general feminist viewpoint of obviously the men you've been involved with....

Anne Parris

Wednesday 11th of May 2016

Hi Kevin! Kimba is a humorist and this piece is intended to be tongue in cheek. I can tell you in my house, my husband is definitely the one who both does more and still manages to be on time. Still, I enjoyed this hyperbolic take on gender roles. It's okay if you don't think it's funny. Thanks for reading and commenting!

Alan

Monday 2nd of May 2016

When I was married I would finish work,get in the car and go to pick her up from work. She NEVER came out of the building with the others and ALWAYS came out late. I couldn't ever get her to do anything or go anywhere without her being late. Over time I began to resent her lateness as an insult and the marriage petered out after 10 years of tardiness but guess what? She got the devolve done very quickly as well as the SALE OF MY HOUSE!! No impunctionlaity there!!

Anon

Thursday 31st of December 2015

Does this writer live in a fucking fantasy land? While men are careless, sure, women are equally as careless. Most of the list you described is NOT done by women, rather, women would rather spend 15-25 minutes looking at themselves in the mirror primping and doing makeup.

Men are on time because we understand the importance of getting stuff done and keeping our word, while women think the most important thing in the world is looking good for others and playing off as successful rather than being successful through motivated action.

Rena McDaniel

Thursday 15th of January 2015

Oh my this is hilarious! True but hilarious.

Kimba

Thursday 15th of January 2015

Thx Rena - life in general sure can be a hoot, don't cha think?

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