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50 Reasons To Talk About Sexual Health

Every day we hear messages about sex. They’re typically negative. And sadly we often believe them. We have so many questions that feel too big, too embarrassing to ask.

sexual health, talking about sex, sexuality, questions about sex, sex at midlife

Let’s look at them. And talk about them.

  1. Eeeeew….Old people having sex. That’s gross
  2. Sex is only for procreation.
  3. Sex is dirty.
  4. Men love sex, women don’t.
  5. Sex hurts.
  6. After menopause sex hurts.
  7. Women lose their sex drive when they hit age________
  8. If you can’t orgasm during intercourse there must be something wrong with you.
  9. Only pretty women have sex.
  10. Why can’t you do that? All the women in porn films do it.
  11. Women hate blowjobs.
  12. Women only have sex when they want something from a man.
  13. I don’t want to have sex but I will if you’ll leave me alone.
  14. If you loved me you would.
  15. We didn’t have sex, I just gave him a BJ.
  16. Sex is for marriage.
  17. When 2 women (or 2 men) have sex it’s a sin.
  18. I don’t need a condom. Men my age don’t get sexually transmitted infections.
  19. Trust me…..
  20. My boyfriend won’t go down on me.
  21. I’ve never had an orgasm.
  22. My husband doesn’t want me anymore.
  23. I must not be normal because ‘it’ doesn’t feel good.
  24. He’s got erectile dysfunction–we can’t have sex.
  25. I have no desire for sex.
  26. He doesn’t know how to make me come.
  27. I can’t talk about sex with my boyfriend.
  28. I can’t talk about sex with my husband.
  29. I can’t talk about sex with my doctor.
  30. I think oral sex is disgusting.
  31. Only perverts use sex toys.
  32. I don’t want anyone to see my body.
  33. My husband/wife is having an affair.
  34. My penis is too small for sex.
  35. I was abused as a child.
  36. My partner’s addicted to porn–he doesn’t want me anymore.
  37. My clit hurts if you touch it.
  38. I’ve never masturbated.
  39. I don’t think he’ll like the way I look down there.
  40. My mother told me sex was bad.
  41. Should I worry if I have an odor?
  42. I like naughty things but can’t tell anyone.
  43. My partner wants to use toys on me and I’m afraid to say yes.
  44. I can only get off when……..
  45. I’ve had a mastectomy, will men still find me attractive?
  46. I’m afraid I’ll get pregnant.
  47. I don’t want to touch his penis.
  48. I’m afraid he’ll have a heart attack.
  49. He wants to use Viagra, I said no.
  50. I don’t understand my own sexuality. Who will help me?

Fifty reasons we have to talk about sex. Among ourselves, with our doctors, to our partners, our children.

When we’re afraid to have healthy, appropriate discussions about sex we are denying who we are as sexual beings. Human beings.

There is nothing to fear in talking about healthy sexuality. Who are you going to talk to?

I’m listening.

This article originally appeared on

Walker Thornton

We are delighted to have Walker Thornton as our Women’s Sexual Health columnist. After working for over 10 years in the field of sexual violence against women, Walker is now enjoying a new career as a freelance writer, public speaker, and sex educator with an emphasis on midlife women. Her blog, was ranked #5 by in their top 100 Sex Blogging Superheroes of 2014. You can connect with her on Facebook and Twitter For questions about sexual health, write her at

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Tuesday 19th of May 2015

I'm 60 don't know how I feel about sex, Widowed for 7 years..

Walker Thornton

Tuesday 19th of May 2015

Yohantus, I'm 60 as well...and for me, sex is an important component of life. Not everyone feels that way and certainly getting back in the dating/sex game after 7 years might be a little anxiety provoking. I've got articles on my website,, and some here on Midlife Blvd too, that might be of interest.

There are benefits to women's sexual health that come from some regular self-pleasuring if you're not engaged in partner sex (or even if you are)!

Anne Parris

Monday 18th of May 2015

Testing out comments...

Walker Thornton

Tuesday 19th of May 2015

Got it!

Comments are closed.
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