“It had become a daily reminder of all of my imperfections,” says McCarthy. “For the first time in my life it had stopped bringing me joy.”
Comedian and now fashion designer, Melissa McCarthy, made this statement in the current issue of People Magazine in reference to getting dressed every morning. I know there are thousands of midlife women who understand the emotions behind it, because I also was one of them. In my twenties and early thirties, I loved clothes. But, life wore at me and criticisms of family members became internalized.
Looking in the mirror was just a reminder that I was tired, overweight, and not accepted by others. It is easy to focus on the imperfections and not the possibilities. But, just like McCarthy, I was ready for the possibilities and to take my joy back!
“I’ve been every size under the rainbow, and my sense of style never left me, but my options did,” says McCarthy. “I created a fashion line that is for all sizes.”
I wish her line had been around twelve years ago when I needed options. But, the important lesson is there are now more fashions to choose from and you really must find them and not allow depression to take over. McCarthy is even working with prominent retailers to have her clothes displayed on first floors and not hidden as women’s sizes so often are. If you find yourself feeling hidden, here is how to start:
- Get mad…choose today to take your joy back and turn things around. The choice is the critical first step.
- Stop immediately focusing on the negative…the weight around the middle, the wrinkles, and the sagging eyelids, whatever it is. Turn that focus into possibilities.
- Stop comparisons now! You are your own unique, beautiful you! You may not be the skinny woman at the gym, or the cool fashion blogger, or Diane Keaton! But, you are something special and it is time to own it.
- Find a clothing line with options which make you feel fabulous and not frumpy. It may be a combination of places like it is for me. I hope to try some of McCarthy’s pieces…they look fun. There are ways to dress your body to look amazing no matter what size or age you are. Embrace those curves, ladies!
- Make note of what works and what doesn’t work. It is about the way clothing is constructed…not about your body. Not all women’s sizes are universal. Try clothes on in a dressing room with a three way mirror. Don’t allow clothes to tell you how to feel about yourself. Look for confidence in what you wear…it does not matter what the label says. How does a garment make you look and feel.
Approach this whole process as fun and empowering…because it is. Clothing is just another weapon to fight the battle of low self- esteem and win a prize of confidence and joy. Please do not allow the perceived imperfections to shut you down. We can live life with a Melissa McCarthy smile!
You can find her line here on HSN (though I warn you, it sold out quickly) and soon in major retail outlets) Did that first quote resonate with anyone else?
Thanks for stopping by the Joy Boutique! Have a great week, everyone!
Pamela Lutrell
Pamela Lutrell began her blog, over50feeling40, July 2010 with a desire to encourage women over 50 to walk in strength, confidence and joy. Of course, head turning style makes each day fun!
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MarcyB
Wednesday 23rd of September 2015
These are all great points, no matter what size you are. I once weighed 100 lbs more than I do now (gastric bypass saved my life) but I still am a short, 60+ y.o. woman who will never look like a tall, slender model, and that's okay with me. I wear clothes that make me feel happy and I'm more confident than I was in my 30's. I do have a bone to pick with Melissa McCarthy's clothing line, though - while I would have liked to buy some of the items listed on HSN, they really aren't designed for "every body" - they are designed for bodies that are much taller and much larger than mine. That's fine, but why advertise that the clothes will fit everyone when they won't?
Karen
Wednesday 23rd of September 2015
I'd add two more things to the list. Try clothing on at home before taking the tags off. The lighting in department stores is usually so bad, nothing looks good. Make sure you have proper undergarments on and the right height shoes for the outfit. You can always buy two pair of jeans and take one back. The other suggestion is: find a style of jeans, top, shoes, whatever that really makes you feel and look great. Then buy more if you can afford it. Jeans manufacturers frequently make one style that makes me look fine and another that makes me look like a sausage. Cut is extremely important and clothing manufacturers change styles seasonally. You probably won't find the "perfect" fitting jean later so grab it now!
Lana
Tuesday 22nd of September 2015
I love her. If you're healthy and happy, that's all that matters!
Barbara Torris
Tuesday 22nd of September 2015
The list is perfect. Be healthy first of all and rest will follow. Loved this article.
Adela
Tuesday 22nd of September 2015
My five sisters and I obsessed so much about our size and what we looked like that one husband threatened to line us up, take pictures of us from the waist down, back view and see if we could pick out who was who.
Our shape is so much less important than...... so many things, I better things to do than to list them. Thanks for the post, and the reminder, roomie.