“A man never gets so old, that he forgets how it was being a little boy.” ~Ward Cleaver to his son, Beaver, on Leave it to Beaver
Everyone is busy running on the treadmill we call Life. We have so much to accomplish over the course of one single day.
Deadlines to meet, bills to pay, emails to answer, texts to acknowledge, appointments to keep. We take care of our families and ourselves, trying to balance the responsibilities of being a good parent, grandparent, spouse or child.
The speed of our treadmill gets faster as we age, when some of our responsibilities may become more burdensome, financially difficult or exhausting.
Lucy Carmichael: “Weren’t you ever a teenager?”
Theodore J. Mooney: “Well, of course, what do you think?”
Lucy Carmichael: “I thought one day they opened the bank vault and out you popped, full grown and stingy! “~From The Lucy Show, 1962
During midlife, the stage I call My Second Chapter, some of us are “empty nesters” or perhaps we’ve recently retired. Some have changed jobs, or moved to another location.
Some are stuck in a rut with an unfulfilling job. The current economic crises and discouraging job outlook have forced some to work longer while saving less. Family and friends move or pass away. Health issues arise and our free time is filled with doctor appointments and staying closer to home.
When we are in our Second Chapter we can experience depression, anxiety, fear, boredom or loneliness. If we find ourselves feeling this way, we need to take a step back and think how we can make things better for ourselves.
The ups and downs of life are inevitable. Yet if we prepare and challenge ourselves to learn new and useful tools, tools that are beyond our normal comfort zone that may enhance and enrich our lives, isn’t it worth a try?
I believe it is!
To illustrate what I mean, I thought I’d share a few of My Second Chapter tools:
1. Journaling – Over the years, many people have told me about the power of journaling. According to Dr. Andrew Weil (www.drweil.com):
“Therapeutic journaling” or “expressive writing” are the terms used to describe the writing you do as a means of dealing with stress, pain or chronic disease can help a lot. An early study of the effects of journaling showed that it improved immune function in healthy people, and in 1999 the Journal of the American Medical Association published a study from North Dakota State University showing that writing about the stress in their lives actually reduced physical symptoms among people with asthma or rheumatoid arthritis.”
I began journaling when stress was affecting my health. Create your own, using sentences and paragraphs, or jot down some random thoughts here and there.
It feels good; make it your own. There is no right or wrong way; you are the Editor in Chief of your own story!
2. Meditation – The Internet is a great place to find basic instruction (trywww.youtube.com or Yoga Journal.)
Studies have shown that meditation can re-wire our brain through the power of thought. It has been proven that it helps us to “de-stress”, maintain health, increase our ability to better concentrate and enhance emotional stability.
I recommend you read about meditation on Dr. Weil’s website – The Self-Healing Benefits of Meditation – written by Susan Piver who recommends learning about meditation from a reputable resource. Check out her website at www.susanpiver.com.
3. Yoga – I love my gentle yoga class, and the pace of the class is perfect for my needs. I’ve re-learned how to breathe – YES, BREATHE!
In times of crisis we tend to hold our breath and our muscles become tense. When focusing on your full inhalations and exhalations, you begin to feel your anxieties melt away. Stretching, balancing and breathing make you more aware of your body; this carries over into your daily life. .
Here is a link from the Livestrong website that describes the basics of Hatha Yoga (one popular form of yoga).
4. Visualization – I’ve learned over the years to use visualization to help me de-stress and battle my MS, making me a healthier person. I know it can help you, too.
Use your own images and try visualization. If you want to seek a reputable guided imagery therapist, I suggest you look at the website for The Academy of Guided Imagery.
To read up on this, I recommend an article on Dr. Andrew Weil’s website –Guided Imagery Therapy.
“Animals are people too, ya know!” ~Radar O’Reilly, M*A*S*H
5. Pets – Pets give you unconditional love, and it is documented they help lower blood pressure, are a constant source of comfort and boost peoples’ moods.
These are a few of the tools I use to empower myself for My Second Chapter. What do you do?
Read more from Cathy Chester on her blog, An Empowered Spirit
Emily says
These are great tools to keep in mind. I’m almost embarrassed to admit I’ve never tried yoga. I think I’m the only person on the planet who has never done it. As for my dog, ahhh, she is the best de-stressor — don’t know what I’d do without her!
Cathy Chester says
I think you would enjoy yoga, Emily. When you get a chance, I know you will love it! I actually have had a frozen shoulder for awhile and haven’t been able to go, and I miss it terribly.
Lisa Froman says
Cathy, these are great tips. And I agree completely–it is important to find ways to deal with stress. I do some of your tips and a few other things (red wine and nice hot salt baths–not necessarily at the same time, LOL). Dark chocolate doesn’t hurt either,
Cathy Chester says
Ah, dark chocolate. I could binge on it all day. Moderation….
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Lisa.
Hugs~
Cathy
Helene Cohen Bludman says
Excellent suggestions, Cathy. I think we also have to be kind to ourselves and not try to live up to a standard that is unrealistic. We may move more slowly, have trouble hearing, become forgetful. But we also have the blessing of experience, greater wisdom and more patience, all things to celebrate. You are such a good example if someone living with gratitude! xo
Cathy Chester says
My gratitude starts with you. I believe you set an example of grace and compassion, Helene, and I’m blessed to know you.
You are so right about being easier on ourselves! Great point.
Anne Parris says
Our dog dies in 2012 and we didn’t get a new one until this fall. I can’t believe how much happier I am! The right dog can change your life.
Cathy Chester says
I am so very sorry for the loss of your dog. That is a deep loss. But I loved seeing the new one, and the way in which the adoption came about. It was definitely meant to be! So happy for you and your family.
Tam Warner Minton says
Cathy….you have my toolbox! Works well. And my other favorite tool: travel. I leave in one day for the wonders of Thailand and Myanmar! I’ll be writing and blogging and photographing my adventures!
Cathy Chester says
You are so blessed to be able to travel to such wonderful areas of the world, Tam! Oh, how I’d love to travel the world. But, alas, right now we’re home while we are The Sandwich Generation……to a tea.
I look forward to your posts, Tam, while I live vicariously through you!
Maritza says
Meditation and keeping a journal helps me feel focused and ready to tackle mid life. Great article!
Cathy Chester says
Oh, how marvelous Maritza! I am so glad to hear it helps someone else. Thank you for sharing that with all of us!
Best always~
Cathy
Walker Thornton says
Nice list–I like that you’ve included resources. I used to see a woman for guided imagery on a regular basis..part of it was combined with music meditation-fabulous practice that served to relax and get my creative juices flowing.
Cathy Chester says
I am sure that seeing someone for guided imagery must have been amazing. How relaxing and useful. It’s nice to hear how well it worked for you, Walker.
Dejan Davchevski says
I think Yoga is an amazing activity to start doing even if you are younger. It harmonizes your heart, soul and body through your mind and creates a more open outlook towards the world around you.
Cathy Chester says
Thank you for sharing that information, Dejan.
Haralee says
Good for you Cathy! You are more evolved than me. I don’t care for Yoga and meditation and visualization put me to sleep! My cats, however make my life calmer and more worthwhile.
Cathy Chester says
We love our pets, Haralee! They are furry medicine! Ha..
Joan Stommen says
Great suggestions, Cathy. Journaling and blogging is what has gotten me through so much! My yoga class has us visualizing and meditating……but I don’t do enough of it otherwise. I shall give it more consideration. I am working on enjoying/embracing my cat. Burney was my husband’s pet….I’ve never been an authentic animal lover. But we are stuck with each other so time will tell!
I always enjoy your posts and comments each day, my friend.
Cathy Chester says
Those furry creatures are blessings and bring us unconditional love. You will come to LOVE them!