20 Things We Said We Would Never Do

Be honest with me. How many of you have said, “I’ll never be like that when I get old?” 

Now, let’s talk about how most of us have fallen short in some form or another by doing the things we swore we would never do.

Those of us, who have children, made some hard and fast rules when we became parents.

I will never yell at my children. – Come on, be honest, have you never yelled at your kids?

I will never allow my children to talk back to me. – Did you figure out a way to make them stop?

I will be completely aware of where my child is at all times. – Not so easy to do. Though GPS might work.

I will never allow my child to eat sugar. – So, what do you do, eat that candy bar while they watch?

There is no way my child will ever pull the wool over my eyes. I will know if he is doing something he should not be doing. –  Uhm, were YOU ever a teenager?

I will never lose my temper around my children. – Maybe not within earshot?

I will protect my child from anything and everything. – Again, not so easy.

My children will eat what is set before them. – And how long did that last?

And the list goes on.  Sound familiar?

Then reality sets in and before we realize it, our kids are teenagers and we have to make decisions on a daily basis.   Curfew was set for midnight and it is 2 a.m.  I have absolutely no idea where my daughter is and vacillate between being terrified and angry.  Depending on what state I am in when she finally does get home determines how I react.

I was walking with a woman in her thirties the other day and realized that my steps were just a bit shorter and a bit slower and it hit me — hard!  When did this happen?  Wasn’t it just yesterday that I sprinted when I walked – and could keep up with anyone?

Think about the things you said would never happen – ever.

I will stay fit. – Fit into what size again?

I will never get fat. – As Bob Hope said, ‘Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.’

I will never wear shoes or clothes for comfort; I will always look sexy. – What happened to my feet?

I will never have skin that sags. – At least not in the places that matter….hopefully.

I will always keep up this pace. – Not so much.

I will never make noise when I bend down or stand up. – Do all noises count?

I will never lose my memory. – What memory?

I will always keep up with the latest music trends and not listen to old people’s music. – Define old.

I will always love to party and stay up late. – As Woody Allen stated, ‘You can live to be 100 — if you give up all the things that make you want to live to 100.’

I will never need glasses or hearing aids. – Fortunately, for some of us, not yet.

I will always be in control of body functions. – Define body functions.

I will keep my mind sharp and never lose touch. – Touch with what?

When my daughter was a teenager and we would see how some ‘old’ people dressed, acted or walked I would say, “Honey, if I ever look like that, just take me out back and shoot me.”  Now, I think maybe I need to be sure she doesn’t own a gun!

What are some of the things you said you would never do?  How’s that working out for you?