Barbara Younger has some witchy words about menopause for you this Halloween. Check out her blog, Friend for the Ride.
“Menopause,” the witch hissed, shaking her broom. “Nothing to it.”
“Really?” I asked. “You’ve got the magic potion? Do share!”
She pointed a snarly finger my way. “You foolish blogger! There’s no potion for menopause!” Her face softened a bit. “But here are some tips.”
1. Looking old? Green masks age spots. Try it.
2. Feeling pudgy? Black is slimming to all of us.
3. Kids getting on your nerves? Call them “My pretties” and watch them scatter.
4. Man getting on your nerves? Make some reference to a “a cold witch’s tit” and see him scatter too.
5. Feeling teary? Toughen up. Think witch-like thoughts.
6. Bad hair day? Cover at least some of it with a stylish pointed hat.
7. Nothing for dinner? Throw the contents of your pantry into a cauldron and stir.
8. Mad chocolate cravings? When a kid in a costume knocks on your door and says, “Trick or treat,” grab his or her candy bag.
9. Night sweats? Use your broomstick to take a spin through the cool night air.
10. Mood swings! Relax. Who doesn’t want to be a witch?
Barbara Younger
Barbara Younger's blog, A Friend for the Ride: Encouraging Words for the Menopause Roller Coaster, takes an upbeat look at menopause and midlife. She welcomes guest posts! Shoot her an email at the address on her "About the Blog and Me" page. The author of over twenty books for adults and children, Barbara holds an a MFA in Writing from Vermont College of Fine Arts. Barbara lives in a 180-year-old house in the small town of Hillsborough, North Carolina with her husband Cliff and collections of everything from dolls to Golden Books to butter boxes. She's the mother of two grown daughters and grandmother to one adorable baby boy.
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