Three conversations. Over the past three weeks. All women who are 58 (the age was really random and surprising). Each one looked tired and appeared to have given up on their appearance. All made jokes about how they were old.
In fact, as I sat with a group of ladies 45+ at a business reception, we began to discuss how we selected our attire for the evening. One of the three above said, “Well, it doesn’t matter for me what I wear, I am the oldest at this table.” Surprised by her comment, I immediately asked her age. When she replied 58, everyone agreed how that is not old and then I said, “I am the oldest at the table.” She had trouble believing I was over sixty and began to make many excuses why she had given up. I know those excuses well. I made them at the age of 48! These are the excuses which somehow help us to live with how we look and do nothing to improve it. The excuses do not, however, erase the emotional pain felt deep inside while looking in the mirror or when attending an event, or even worse, avoiding attending events from lack of confidence.
Here are the lines I hear the most:
- Self-care doesn’t stop the inevitable. Aging is going to happen, so I need to just accept it and let it happen.
- Self-care is expensive.
- Self-care is unnatural.
- Self-care is not on the priorities list right now, other people are more important.
- Self-care is overwhelming. I do not know where to begin or have the time to find out.
Excuses held me back from living life to its fullest and enjoying each moment. I am thankful I moved past the excuses and began to do something at age 50…it is hard to believe that was 12 years ago. Because aging is inevitable, I do not have a perfect body and never will. But, I care for it now and I do not allow the problems to keep me from doing my best to feel confident. When I write “self-care,” I mean health, wellness, vision, dreams, fashion, beauty, and all things which keep us going strong.
Here are just a few of my own challenges: failing eyesight; ripped earlobe so I no longer can wear earrings unless they are clips and those hurt; hammer toes; thinning eyebrows; aging hands with huge veins; thinning skin on arms; wrinkles on face; gray hair I am not ready to accept; and I still need to lose weight predominantly for health reasons. That’s a long list, but I do not live in this list and use it as an excuse to give up. I get up every day and take care of myself. I want to look and feel my best as I go through the remainder of this short life.
What excuses are you using not to care for yourself and gain confidence no matter your age? It is time to throw those excuses out the window and stop ridiculing ourselves with humor when we are in groups. Go see the movie, The Intern.” The most confident person in the business was the seventy-year-old. He did what he had to in order to enjoy his life… from working to exercise to relationships to wardrobe to standing by his values. This character was developed as a person who mattered. I Matter…and so do you.
What excuses are you making today?
Thanks for stopping by the Joy Boutique…have a great week.