Are you an emotional shopper?
Emotions…don’t you just love them?
They rise and ebb like the tide and sometimes become our own personal hurricane. I know some of you still deal with the monthly rush of emotions and then there are those of us wiping the droplets off our brow from an intense time of heat. It’s all of this which makes us passionate, tearful, anxious women at different times of our lives.
How I wish we could check emotions at the dressing room door, but unfortunately whatever we are dealing with at shopping time enters right in with us. This is why we must have a moment…deep breathing…focus on the clothes…before a single garment hits our bodies.
Something I had to face in my fifties was to stop allowing the numbers inside of the garment to control how I felt about myself.
It is just a number not a statement about how I successfully or unsuccessfully live my life. It is not an indictment of failure. It is not a determining factor of whether I will live with joy or despondency. It has nothing to do with love or if other people will love me. It is not who I am…it is just a number.
Fashion retailers and designers are admittedly not universal or consistent with sizing. So, one size 16 may fit and another may not! There are some retailers, like Chico’s, which have simplified sizing from 0-3…but even they had to make changes in recent years and add in half numbers. I have to try their garments on even after wearing them for three decades…sometimes I am a 2 and sometimes I am a 3. The size 3 garments do not mean that I am losing a grip on life! I do not mean to offend anyone, but there are ladies who wear smaller sizes and should not. They are not flattering to their bodies and the smaller clothes can add years …not remove years.
Stacy London, stylist, writes, “Wearing a size 8 that doesn’t look good isn’t half as powerful as wearing a size 12 that fits your shape. Go with whatever looks good in the mirror regardless of the size.”
The goal is to flatter the figure we currently own, no matter what shape or size that is.
There are ways to learn to dress our figures which are empowering and this is where the focus should be. Today, clothing exists for confident styles in petite sizes, plus sizes, tall sizes… no matter who you are. You do not have to wait to look your best while you lose or gain weight. It can happen today…right now.
Just keep these things in mind:
- Try your best not to shop when your emotions are most vulnerable. I know this kills the idea of “retail therapy.” But if you are shopping to feel better after an altercation, bad day at work, bad day on the scales, fearful diagnoses, or anything else, it often results in clothes returned to the store. Dressing rooms are for wardrobe analysis and not as a psychiatrist’s couch. Been there, done that. It rarely works.
- Do not focus on the numbers. Focus on the garment…not the tag. Does it fit your body, style, lifestyle and wardrobe? If it is your normal size and too tight….that does not mean you are losing a grip on life. It could be the cut and style of the garment and not a weight gain at all. Let the scales and your food plan tell you that…not clothing.
- Look at shopping methodically and not emotionally. Building a wardrobe is a science and should be approached as such. It takes education and perseverance. It also takes trying clothes on and looking at them with goals in mind.
- Know and support the retailers and designers which fit your body and style the best!
I had to learn: My name is Pam…not 22,20,18,16 or any other number. My name is also not L, XL, XXL, 1X, etc. My name is not Women’s, Misses, Juniors, or Petites.
I know who I am…I know the goals I have for my Personal Style…and I know that if I have a bad day at work, not to shop!
Have a wonderful week, everyone! Thank you for joining us in the Joy Boutique!
Does anyone have a “retail therapy” story you would like to share…successful or not??