This has been quite an interesting summer as I transition from high school teacher to small business owner. As many of you know, while I made decisions, I worked as a retail sales associate at Soft Surroundings. While the work is very hard, I learned so much and am glad the company allowed me to come on board knowing it was not long term. But, it looks as though I will continue to be there for at least one day a week…really for the fun of it. I love the experience, the people and the company! (Not to mention the clothes!)
I could write a whole post about treating sales associates with respect…smile, don’t talk down to them, and button those buttons on clothing you do not want. Please do not make someone earning a living while on their feet for hours the brunt of your bad day. Ok, I have vented enough….it is always good to walk in someone else’s shoes for a time.
However, what has resonated the most with me is how the majority of women midlife and beyond seem to have such low self- confidence. Soft Surroundings is popular with this target audience, giving me time to listen to the customers day after day. Here are the typical comments:
- I am too fat to look good in anything.
- I am too skinny to look good in anything.
- I am too old to look good in anything.
- My boobs are too big to look good in anything.
- My time is up….I do not expect to look good again.
- I need my daughter to tell me what to wear.
- I need my husband to tell me what to wear.
- I am so short now, there are no clothes made for me.
They come in hoping for answers, but full of excuses as to why things will not work. It has been fun to look into eyes and say, “You are beautiful. Just as you are. Dress the body you have. I am here to show you how.” Some relax and we have fun learning together, but, sadly, others leave still feeling defeated because they would not allow themselves to believe otherwise. One lady accused me of lying about my age in order to get her to buy clothes…she did not believe I am 62 or that she could look or feel better about herself in her sixties.
I like to ask women, “When was the last time you felt amazing in your clothes? What did that outfit look like? What were the colors, the design, and where were you going?” It opens new positive conversations and helps them to remember confident, powerful moments.
Ladies, I would like to ask you today…Why do we do this? Why do we participate in such damaging self- talk? Why do we tend to believe the negative more than the positive?
A healthy dose of confidence can be a pathway to joy, strength, and opportunity. This issue is deeper than the clothes we wear. How have some of you turned it around?
Thanks for your comments and for stopping by the Joy Boutique…see you next week!