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The 6 Most Shocking Things About Adult Sons

 

Like all of us with adult children, Laurie Stone is a little baffled by the big people who have taken the place of her little kids – but in a good way. Read more from Laurie on her blog.

 

Wait.  I’ve been a Mom 24 years?  How did that happen? One moment my boys are sipping juice boxes.  The next they’re playing Beer Pong in the basement.  Some things I expected like that maternal tug when I see my little boys now grown men with lots of facial hair.  But here are 6 things I didn’t expect…

The 6 Most Shocking Things About Adult Sons
First, I thought I’d feel more nostalgic about my children’s younger years.  Does that sound horrible?  I know I’m supposed to dissolve into a puddle when I hear a school bus or come across an old report card, but elementary school feels distant and fuzzy like an old black and white movie.  Don’t get me wrong.  I’ll always treasure the sweet, little handmade ceramic bowls from second grade, but life goes on with new triumphs and problems and things that drive me crazy.

Second, my sons and I drink together.  Recently we sat in the lounge of a Houston hotel. “I’ll have whiskey on the rocks with a splash of ginger,” my 24 year old Patrick casually said to the bartender like he’d done it 100 times (which evidently he has).  My 21 year old son Paul favored the more exotic “Blue Hawaiian” (whatever that means).  I watched us belly up to the bar and wondered what just happened?  How did we go from diapers to Happy Hour in the blink of an eye?

Third, my sons care about my feelings.  When they were young, Patrick and Paul were a blur of skateboards, electric basses and Pokeman cards.  Social interaction was primal at best, mostly grunts and shrugs.  But then something strange happened.  My sons became perceptive, sensitive, and empathetic to others, including their mother.  They can tell when I need a hug, kind words or a good talk.  My God, I thought recently, I’ve raised disciples of Deepak Chopra.

Fourth, they give good advice.   My sons are not only sensitive, but wise.  “How do I help Grandpa?” I frequently ask my boys when discussing my Dad who has late-stage Parkinson’s.  “You’re doing the best you can,” assures Paul who used to have temper tantrums that could peel paint.   “You’re there for him and that’s what counts,” advises Patrick who enjoyed jumping on furniture.   I walk away wondering, where did these all-knowing sages come from?  And do they charge by the hour?

Fifth, their cards have become sentimental.  How I longed for these when they were younger.  Instead, especially in their early teen years, greeting cards included thoughts on bodily functions or a general “Hope your day is pleasant” which could’ve been given to someone’s personal assistant.  Now their cards make me weep with sentimentality. “You’re the best mother ever” and “I’ll always love what you did for me.” These touch me now especially since I know they come from the heart and weren’t purchased by their father.

Sixth, they share things with me.   I love hearing about my boys’ epiphanies, hurts, and joys.  They still like to come and talk, to touch base.  We’re not only mother and sons but good friends. Sometimes we’ll just hang-out and watch TV.  True confession: I’ve even played Beer Pong with my boys although I’m a lousy shot.  Still, I’m happy they like spending time with me.  Some things never change and I’m grateful.

Yes, for all you beleaguered mothers of young sons, it does get easier.  And although it’s wonderful to have cuddly small ones, it’s also fascinating and gratifying to watch boys grow into men you not only love… but admire.

Laurie Stone

Laurie Stone writes from the woods of Easton, CT. Her blog, "Musings, Rants & Scribbles" shares thoughts on growing up, growing older, and growing (hopefully) wiser. She draws inspiration from her poor, unsuspecting husband of several decades, two grown sons, family, and friends (including the furry ones). You can find her at lauriestonewrites.com.

Jo

Tuesday 27th of October 2015

HI Laurie, it sounds as if you've raised two lovely sons. It's always great to hear about relationships that work in a world where so many don't. Keep on enjoying them, through all the life stages.

Laurie Stone

Wednesday 28th of October 2015

Thanks Jo. I got very lucky and have two great kids.

Laurie Stone

Monday 14th of September 2015

Thanks so much for reading, Stella. I have friends with daughters who have grown into wonderful, caring, wise adults. Some I've known since they were babies. Its amazing to watch.

Stella Chiu

Sunday 13th of September 2015

Hi, Laurie

I don't have any boy; I have two adult daughters. i surprise they do give good advice like your boys. We drink beer and wine together. They display two activities from your boys: they don't like to share things with me.and are more honest about their feeling.

Thanks for nice post.

-Stella

Yvonne Jasinski

Friday 11th of September 2015

My son, 21 years old, is not quite there yet. But things are changing! He is coming with me to Costa Rica for the New Year's Eve plus 9 days after. How not cool is this! Just a year ago I would not even think to ask. Of course, the destination has something to do with it, but I will take it!

Laurie Stone

Friday 11th of September 2015

Yvonne, To me a 21 year old male is still a primitive creature. It took my sons a year or so beyond college to become more adult. They still have their moments. I think its great you're going to Costa Rica. Sounds like a wonderful bonding experience.

Carol Graham

Friday 11th of September 2015

There is a special bond between sons and their moms and you have been doubly blessed. Loved the way you shared your relationship bringing both memories and tears as I read it.

Laurie Stone

Friday 11th of September 2015

Thank you, Carol They are a blessing. And yes, I believe there is a special bond between mothers and sons. Its more common for sons to move away from their mothers as they grow older. Maybe that gives the relationship an extra poignancy.

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